“I love you… but….”
As Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, there is a lot of focus on Love.
All my life I have heard lessons of Loving Unconditionally. Put no conditions on those you love. Love them for who they are in the uniqueness of which they vibrate. Easy enough? Right? In some cases yes, others unconditional love just doesn’t happen and better suited for another writing.
Today’s thought is on Giving and Receiving Love, WITHOUT Limits. I am talking about what we ALLOW ourselves to give and what we allow ourselves to receive.
First, let’s visit what we allow ourselves to give. We are given the ability to Love freely, and equally. For various reasons, we don’t. Our life experiences cause us to react in many different ways. We love with limits. There are lines drawn in the sand and unspoken boundaries set.
When we invest time in people, it is human nature to feel that as a tribe, they will return this investment in us. When they do not, it is hurtful. We recoil. We limit the next time the amount of effort put into the relationship. We limit what the future for that relationship is — we begin to feel time spent, is better spent where it is more effective for the greater good.
Reciprocal Love and Respect —
Finding a balance in the give and take of a relationship is sometimes a little sketchy.
Ah, the receiving part. It is better to give than to receive. Although this is very accurate, it is also unrealistic. Face it, Love just makes you feel good. So of course, by all means, we all want it! And a lot of it! Don’t show me the money… Show me the LOVE !
Friendship vs. Professional
What is your position? Where do you find yourself in a relationship with someone? Is it strictly a business/professional relationship? Or does love factor in? If love factors in – is it reciprocal? Do you feel an allegiance to a business or a person, and why? Is each person vested in the same outcome? Does one expect more from the relationship than the other?
“You are the most unique person I have ever met. You are so talented . I am not going to support you though.” You feel the love, right in the palm of your hand, you grip it, you hold it and at that moment, you reach out to grasp another’s hand in comradery, it reaches forward and bites you, and slits a vein of hope and trust in your wrist.
What is this thing called love when paired with the female species trying to get ahead in this world?
What is a business friendship vs a friendship? Does “going through” something together change an outlook or outcome?
How do you know where you stand in this “business friend relationship” when someone states “they love you,” yet they do not support you? My friend, that is love with limits. And there is certainly a difference. This is truly simply a business friendship – there is no love lost because there has been no love given. The boundaries have been set. Yes, they “love” – with limits, therefore, it is not love in it’s purest of form. It is merely dutiful.
What is your definition of loyalty? Business vs. Personal. Dividing the two.
Emotion – when it’s important to leave it out?
Men vs Women – Friendships, vs Love, vs Loyalty vs Business
Men…men, don’t worry about this stuff.
How do you fix this? Roll your sleeves up and dig in. Do the work. Love. Love without Limits. Know who you are, and where you come from – surround yourself with Love – and #believe … #believeinLove.
Sometimes the things we hold onto the tightest are the things that are preventing us from moving forward to things that are greater.
Let go of inhibitions. Let go of what you think things “should be.” Let go of perceptions.
– Spread Love –
Believe in Love, as the message displayed during this years Super Bowl halftime show. Each person holding a card of some sort, and on cue, displayed it.
That was the message.
Believe in Love.
Rinse – Repeat
Years ago, I learned the technique of Rinse. Repeat. This was during the time in my life when you read every ounce of instruction on beauty products, because, after all – it May make a DIFFERENCE ! Shampoo was just as important.
As we grow, and. Mature. And. Gain age acquired wisdom, we learn what works for us ~ and what does not. We make adjustments along the way and tailor things to our own needs. One thing in particular, Rinse. Repeat.
What is the outcome/effect if you “don’t.” Life in many ways can lend itself to this analogy. The process of “Do-overs” is often a chance to “Do-Better.” A second chance. An opportunity. A new beginning.
We go through life experiences, some we like ~ others no so much. If they are in the “not so much” category, then why oh why would we ever want the repeat option? Maybe in “rinsing” or cleansing we would approach it with a different outlook – which ultimately would create a different outcome. Cleansing can be done and interpreted many different ways which I will leave up to you.
My point here, is to make adjustments as you go. If you don’t like it ~ if it doesn’t bring you joy ~ Stop. If it is something that puts a smile on your face.
Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.
As a child growing up we were taught not to speak back, accept the words spoken to us for what they were. As we grew and evolved into this world of electronics and speaking with our thumbs, we can be in the middle of a conversation and drop off with no rhyme or reason. This leaves our person we are talking to, to wonder – where am I? What did I do? Did I say something wrong? Are they ok?
When talking on the telephone, if you left the conversation open ended – with no closure, it surely would be considered a hang up. People would wonder. They would worry. They would be offended. There would be no disconnect.
Today there leaves a lot to be desired when referring to the art of communication. Proper communication goes along the same lines as Manners. Having them or not.
The convenience of smart phones and email has lessened our requirement for having a complete sentence, therefore ultimately have a complete conversation.
When face-to-face with someone or on a telephone, you do not simply make a statement and walk away or hang up. You are engaged in communication – dialect – interaction.
Why then, when we are texting or emailing do we allow this to occur?
Because we are disconnected before we even begin.
Before we even begin our conversation – we are not connected.
There is no eye contact. There is no body contact. There is no voice contact. And even if we are “with” someone – the allure of a possible “text” from someone else keeps us more interested in an electronic device, than the person sitting right in front of us.
Our senses have not been awakened to engage therefore we are not connected.
How can you change this in your life? How can you become more connected?
How can you continue to use the tools of convenience – and have a more positive, more connected outcome? Where are you with your effort with communication?
Finding our tribe, Being within our Circle
We all wish to have a sense of belonging. A place where we are comfortable. A place where we feel safe. A place where we feel accepted. Regardless. We are one with the circle.
How do you find your people? How do you find your circle? I have several. And each one feeds a part of me that is hard to explain. And yet if I put the contents of these circles together, they may not groove or jive as the community I so desire. So for now I will continue to collect a piece of each, for it is what makes me who I am.
The crafty bunch
The spiritual bunch
The memories from school bunch
The free spirited bunch
The healthy-gym oriented bunch
The eclectic bunch
The historical preservation bunch
The professional bunch
The driven for success bunch
The networking bunch
The support group
Now go back and look at your own circles to see who bleeds over into another… who resonates with your core, your everyday?
You are the sum of these personalities and habits. Be with “good stuff.”
As I sat enjoying coffee with Margie this past week, the first thing I wanted to do was pull out my cell phone and use its camera to capture the moment I wanted to remember the camelia centerpiece, the eclectic mix of coffee cups, saucers and their cream & sugars sitting there, I drank it all in – I was present at the moment. I immediately told my mind to be quiet about “taking pictures.” Instead, I listened and focused face-to-face with blue eyes and wrinkled skin. The warmth inside completely overriding any chill that has begun to fall now that it’s December.
I began to focus. Focus on what really matters to us. I had to accept that my own memory was all I had on this one – this made me go into a repeat and confirm pattern.
Observance and Awareness of our surroundings by exercising our five senses is easily forgotten in our world of electronics. As we age, by default, our opportunities for memories increase. Or decreases in some people’s minds. Why do we remember some things and not others?
Psychologists believe it is related to emotion. High energy vs low energy and how the brain interprets this. And I agree. I also believe it has to do with our senses. Our senses highlight our emotions for memory recollection. Add in distraction – Distraction in the form of any one of those senses, and before you know it, your focus is gone. Jaded.
My repeat and confirm pattern is just that – slow down, LISTEN, repeat what you have heard whether only in your head and then confirm what you understand to be true. Often, the confirming portion of this is most monumental to conversations with friends and family.
If someone is taking the time to tell you a story – it is important to them. They are entrusting a piece of themselves to you. The best compliment you can give is to hear them and remember – to LISTEN. To be present. Observance and Awareness.
Our senses help to trigger it.
Todays reflection is about Input vs. Output
Give and Receive.
We are all on both ends of this equation. The key is to find balance. How are you providing input in your life? What is your output? What is filling your well? What causes your cup to overflow? Are you allowing yourself to RECIEVE?
What happens when others “Quit You?”
You’ve had a significant loss in your life – and people you expect to be supportive of you, NO MATTER WHAT. *quit you*
Love Changes –
No matter how much I didn’t want to write that – it insisted on being written. *love changes*
Whether through death, divorce, breakup, loss of a job – “significant LOSS”
Love can either Grow. or DIE.
It’s not happy to talk about it dying. Fact is – it happens –
But mostly it Changes.
From the time we are very young. We Love.
We have attachment.
We have favoritism.
“Love is unconditional.”
AT Least it is SUPPOSE to be.
When is it then that it is
Love vs. Like?
What causes Like
to go to Love
and Love to go to dislike?
or even dislike to hate?
Especially ~ when Love was in the beginning?
Trust is a huge factor.
Break someone’s trust and the ability to regain it may never occur.
To Love someone, but not trust them is very hard on a persons heart.
To Love someone, and be disappointed in their actions, is very hard on a persons heart.
Heartbreak comes in many forms.
Heartbreak is the price of Love.
Loving deeply is setting yourself up for heartbreak in the future.
.NEGATIVE – I KNOW.
At what price are you willing to Love?
How much of your heart are you willing to spend?
.and on Whom?
Do you Trust?
Can you Trust?
How much of your heart can you give away and not expect return on investment?
…i’ll repeat that one…
How much of your heart can you give away and not expect a return on investment?
That speaks volumes.
“Only spend what you can afford to loose; on a house by the sea.”
is a quote I’ve often thought about and reflect back on.
It’s pretty poignant really.
when comparing how you spend your heart, to how you spend your money,
THERE CANNOT BE A COMPARISON.
Although ~ I’m certain there are many who do.
They give love based on what they receive.
They give effort based on effort given.
We are back to Give and Receive.
Input and Output.
….***THE CYCLE CONTINUES***…
A while ago, I began the website and FB page, “Shoot with a Purpose.” It suggested that when you go out with your camera, you shoot with intention. Shoot with a purpose of capturing a specific subject in mind. A moment, a shape, a theme.
Sitting here this morning, “Living” with a purpose comes to mind. Are we simply living – or are we living with a purpose? And that purpose has complete permission to change and be changed at any point in time. What is your purpose today?
What is your goal?
What are you going to do everyday – even if it is a small thing – to bring you closer to your end goal?
Figure it out !!
Monday, August 24th, I boarded a plane bound for F-L-A to spend a week with friends, sand and surf. Nothing to do. Nowhere to be. Just to simply BE. And that I did. It was absolutely FAN-tab-ulous.
Most who see my posts, saw the daily fun and escapades. The closing down of restaurant’s and trying of new foods. Drink and festivities. Sun and sandy toes. There is no secret whatsoever that Carol absolutely loves to be sunkissed, have the sand between her toes and feel the warmth of the sun on her body, the less clothing the better. Just a fact. At one point, my feet were sore from walking in the sand. I think I exfoliated a quarter inch off my feet from walking the beach. I took a lot of photos. Some I shared. Others will be in my personal archive for a lifetime. Some are in my head for me to pull from when most needed.
One that I absolutely love … every time I look at it just speaks volumes to me, and causes me to sit and actually write about it. It’s the birds, shown here. There is so much going on in this shot. From one perspective to another. As I came upon these birds, I saw another woman simply taking photos of the birds. Obviously, she was happy with her shot, we exchanged pleasantries on the beach and moved along our way. I stood there. Looking at these birds. A whole community. And although I loved the shot. I was not IN LOVE with the shot. I needed something more. How could I possibly get “more” from this shot? Was it angle? Was it light? Was it background? If someone from afar was watching they would have surely thought I needed restraints, that something was wrong with this woman analyzing this flock of birds.
…. I cued my trusty iphone to the camera app and took off running with arms outstretched holding it in both hands to steady and click click click click started firing off shots as the birds started to lift off because I was chasing them. THERE was the shot! I laughed the ENTIRE way.
What you see is my favorite.
I love how the storm is brewing to the right. I love how they are running from me creating the motion seen here. I love how some are hesitant – waiting until the last possible moment of danger or threat … making sure that this is the real deal before lifting off to go to safety… the risk takers.
And then I sit here this evening … on this Sunday night before Monday. Before others will groan with dismay about the morning, bound to begin soon. And I wonder… are you the one who flies in fright immediately? Are you the risk taker waiting until the last minute, gambling that things may just change for the better OR are you the person initiating change in your life and causing the FLOCK to fly?
What will be YOUR game changer in life? And what about that storm lingering off in the distance? Will it really materialize or will it in fact turn into God’s grace and beauty literally before your eyes… giving you insight and security that tomorrow will be a brighter day? Better than ever imagined?
Sometimes whether you realize it or not. Whether you look left or right – what you need to see is right before your eyes. And it’s really pretty darned amazing, if only you are willing to OPEN your eyes and accept what is before you.
……And then. I turned on my heal, and headed back in the direction that I had come…., realizing that what I set out to find (a beach littered with shells that didn’t turn out as expected because of the impending storm and tides) – and I felt this overwhelming urge to turn around, and look back again…
….as if being tapped on the shoulder and someone saying “UM Hellllloooooo” …. I saw this shot above. I just stopped and breathed and I kid you not, after snapping this photo… that is when the pod of dolphins appeared
I realized that what you need is not that which can be held in the palm of your hand. It’s that which is held in your heart. heart emoticon heart emoticon heart emoticon